Showing posts with label We Hear You. Show all posts
Showing posts with label We Hear You. Show all posts

Monday, November 21, 2011

We Hear You Series #3: Don't Feed the Mean

In the beginning of my 5th grade year a few of my good friends, from the previous years, decided to turn on me. I had no idea why. It started with not talking to me and staying clear of me at recess and after school. Then the name calling began. I had very short hair for a girl, so they'd make rude comments or call me names based on that. They'd make fun of my clothes, too. I can remember just getting home as quickly as possible to share this with my mom and bawling my eyes out. I didn't understand why these girls had been my good friends before and now it seemed they hated me. I will never forget one girl that stood by my side through all of it. She never said anything, she was simply there with me, which was so comforting to me to know that one person liked me and at that same time was not bad-mouthing the girls that were being mean. I would run home as fast as I could to get away from that atmosphere every day. My mom would listen to me and then she would always say that sometimes when people make fun of others, it's because they have something they would like. In other words, my mom thought they were jealous of me. I just had to tell myself that over and over and never shout or comment mean things back. My mom made that really clear- no matter what, do not do what they're doing to me. Ignore the comments as hard as it was sometimes. No need to call names back at them, etc. I can also say that being involved in a sport at that time helped tremendously, as well. It was not associated with the school, so I had different friends there to hang out with and take out my frustration through the activity!

The bullying continued and led to prank calls that eventually were almost 24 hours a day. It got so bad, we intervened with the police to find out where the calls had been coming from. We did find out it was the same few girls. They had to apologize to me and my family. After that all happened, I remember being friends with these girls again. Even though I was hurt deeply by their comments, my one friend that was always there for me and my mom, helped me understand that some kids can be mean, but usually they have some issues of their own that they are trying to deal with. The best advice was not to feed in to their "mean-ness", but to ignore what they said to me and move on. Be the best me I could and surround myself with positive people and positive activities (sports, clubs).

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

We Hear You Series #1 - Bully NO More


When my daughter was 5 yrs old she was relentlessly pursued by a child in her class to the point she did not want to go to school anymore...

I talked to the teacher who said (and I quote), "I know!! Isn't it cute? He LOVES her."

After I picked my jaw off the floor, I stated that this was NOT in any shape or form "cute" and it HAD to STOP! 

I was getting nowhere, so I took my daughter to the principal's office and said, “I give her permission to beat the snot out of ANYONE who touches her,”  (FYI - she was the most petite little 5 yr old and would NEVER lay a hand on anyone...LOL) “and if you put her in detention I will not only do the detention with her but will also notify EVERY SINGLE RADIO STATION AND THE NEWSPAPER, and inform them this nice little neighborhood school allows and condones bullying and yes...sexual harassment....”

The result?

Guess what!! I got an apology….. But wait?  Why did I get the apology when it was my child that was being bullied?  So then they apologized to HER and IT NEVER HAPPENED AGAIN!!

My daughter is now 26.  She is the most loving, beautiful, active young woman with tons of friends and a fabulous job, but has "that certain something" which attracts bullies. She has a much better understanding of it though and deals with it like a PRO. She is absolutely non-aggressive and now people understand that her gentle and kind nature is never to be confused with weakness!

Parents can be an enormous help to their children by solidly supporting them without being overbearing and BELIEVE your child when she/he complains about kids who aren't "so nice.”

Thank you for allowing me to share my daughter’s story!