Friday, August 12, 2011

My experience with cyber-bullies

The word that comes to mind at the moment, is "Wow!" - I have just experienced for the first time, being cyber bullied tonight. The ironic thing about this, is that it came from a facebook support group!!

I have recently been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, and in order to understand that disorder more, and get support from people who also have it, I joined 2 support groups on facebook. Tonight, I engaged in a disagreement (which I believed was an adult conversation and was handled respectfully on my part) with an administrator, who deleted me right away without being warned. He told a person later, that I was being paranoid and I was having a bad day. Ummmm....people with bpd ARE paranoid and we DO have bad days! That was part of the "support" in the group. DUH! lol

Anyway, that wasn't too bad, until he began to leave private messages which were hateful, and followed me to ANOTHER support group (after messaging people, asking them if I were in that group, so he could join also) and began talking about me non-stop. I chose to block him so I wouldn't have to endure what he was saying, which apparently was against the rules in that group (I totally don't get that rule). So in order to stay in the group, I had to unblock him and watch as he continued to talk about me and lie about the incident that had occurred.

Needless to say, I removed myself from that group as well. Members of both groups, began to send me private messages, telling me what this guy was saying, and they all thought he was being very hateful and out of control. I responded by saying that he would be showing his true colors very soon and people would most likely be leaving the groups he was a part of. I was right. Many people have started leaving now because of him. point is this. For the most part, I am a strong individual, but I certainly have my fair share of bad days, as we all do from time to time. Today was one of them, due to certain circumstances at home (I missed an important appointment and our dog died today). However, if I weren't such a strong minded person, what this guy was doing to me, could have sent me on a tailspin downwards.

He was hateful, spiteful, vindictive and rude. He laughed at the post I made about my dog dying, and he talked about me in public, even though I never said a word about HIM in public. He was trying to make me feel bad, and he was trying to make me leave the group (which obviously he succeeded). I did the best thing I could do, which was to get out of the situation and delete and block him so I would not have to see what he was saying. I also reported him to the administrators of facebook and I left the support group completely.

Those who have not been cyber bullied, have no idea how this feels. It's completely different than being bullied face to face, because a lot of people do not know how to handle a situation online. People don't want to delete or block the person, because it is our instinct to want to know what is being said about us. We want to defend ourselves and we have this "need to know" mentality, even if knowing is going to hurt us.

My plea for people if you encounter such a devastating situation online, to PLEASE get offline, or delete and block the person who is wanting to harm you. There is NO reason to put up with something like that. Report it to the appropriate officials, and then learn to let it go yourself. Easier said than done, I realize...but in order for us to keep our sanity in tact, that is the best solution.

Please...take precautions and keep yourselves safe, by being aware of what is being posted online, and by deleting, blocking and reporting individuals who are not good for you. You will feel much better about yourself, and you will be free of the bullies in cyberspace.

Thank you.


No comments:

Post a Comment