Upstanders Plus Cyberbullying Tips

Today has been an emotional day for me. On the way to drop off the kids this morning to school, I received a voicemail from a parent in Nebraska who has been advocating for stronger anti-bullying measures in her child’s school and community. We talked for quite some time, and it was like talking to one of our fellow ABC directors or a soul sister. She spoke of her son who is currently a high school student and how she feared for his safety; she spoke of how close they were and her fear when he was suicidal at the thought of returning to his school. Tears flooded my eyes in empathy for her son and the heartbreak and determination I heard in her voice. Her passion and drive reminds me of me and I’m looking forward to working together with her in future endeavors.

Emotional and inspired by the phone conversation, I am working along when I get tagged in a local group I belong to. A parent had posted her frustration of a cyber-bullying closed group her child had been “added” to targeting a fellow student. Her child immediately told her about the group and she put in calls to the school, but there were no return calls. Another parent knew that I was a part of ABC and tagged me to draw my attention to the post. I asked the parent to call me immediately and she gave me access to the group in which the image they had photoshopped of a young boy made me nauseous. I immediately started taking screen shots and with her help drafted an email to the administration with attached images. I then followed up with a phone call and it is being investigated immediately.

I was at first going to create a status update on ABC of what to do in situations like this, but then recognizing my long-winded capability I decided to instead create a blog post.

I would urge ALL parents to have login information for your children if they are on Facebook or any other social media site. It is our duty as parents to ensure safety of our children everywhere, web or otherwise. Monitor your kids on social media!

Here are some tips if you are in a similar situation:

1. Take screen shots of images and members of the group by hitting Ctrl PrtScn (Control and Print Screen) simultaneously. Open up Paint and Paste the image, crop as needed and Save as a JPG. Continue to do this to get all pertinent information.

2. Once you have images saved, Report any Abuse by clicking the X by the post and selecting the Report Abuse option. In Facebook, they will give you options such as Violence, Targeting a Friend etc. You can also report the Group.

3. Call the school administration, go to the school with print outs and Follow Up with an Email with attached images.

4. Contact a local advocacy group or contact us at abc.antibullyingcoalition@gmail.com.

5. Talk to your kids about cyberbullying and the importance of being an upstander.

I want to commend the child who immediately told his mom about this group and the mom for taking action with the school and ABC.

Together We Can!

Block & Ban 'Em ~ Squash Those Trollls!

                Recently, ABC has come under attack of what are referred to as “trolls.”  Trolls are fake profiles and pages that are created for the purpose of attacking or cyber bullying people or pages.  When I first created ABC and started connecting with other like-minded pages, I would see the occasional posting about a page so filled with hate that one of our fellow communities were asking everyone to report them and rid FB of the hate. 

                Then it happened to us….. and it devastated me. 

                Every morning I get up, let the dogs out, grab my coffee and sit down to catch up on ABC postings during the night.  The morning the “trolls” first attacked our page was no different but I immediately felt violated.  And somewhat scared. 

                First I blocked and banned some of the pages and people that had posted incredibly inappropriate things on our ABC wall and statuses.  Then I went to another like-minded page and saw they had also attacked this other page and one teenage girl that had been asking for help on this other page, responded to the troll, thanking them for caring.  I immediately called the admin to let her know what was going on.

                Between myself and another ABC admin we were able to catch them immediately, block and report as soon as they liked our page or commented on it.  It was a bit nerve-wracking and though we felt confident in who we were banning to protect our community, we did accidentally ban one fantastic new member (which of course was immediately protected). 

                This first attack really affected me.  I felt confident in our ability to protect our community, but they started sharing our page on their “troll” pages asking all the “trolls” to report us for heinous reasons.  It was scary.  I’ve seen pages disappear due to troll attacks, and even though FB says they check every report, all 3 of the ABC admins received a warning from FB regarding inappropriate posting.  I was incredibly disappointed by this as I have never violated FB terms personally or professionally.  I have followed up with Facebook on their Privacy and Security Discussion Boards which I urge anyone to do if they ever face anything similar.

                I’m 33 (or 34) and have never been a victim of cyber bullying until now.  I have researched cyber bullying, but now that it’s happened to us, I feel like I’m able to relate.  It was something I couldn’t control, it took me completely off guard and at first I floundered.  I can only imagine how horrible it is for a teen (or younger) facing cyber bullying. 

                I am no longer devastated, I am prepared.  We have a plan of action, if and when they come to the page.  I know that I can’t protect us from ever being attacked by “trolls,” but having an action plan for when/if it does happen makes me secure.  And They Will Not Win.  They Will Not Get the Best of ABC.

                We fully support the petition Kate Gaming of Take A Stand recently started requesting stricter policies removing FB troll pages/hate pages.  Below is a link to the petition and we hope you will take the less than a minute it takes to digitally sign and then Share it on your personal page.  We do believe that Together We Can Make a Difference.

http://www.change.org/petitions/ask-facebook-to-remove-hate-material-and-offensive-troll-pages?utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=share_petition&utm_term=own_wall

Here are some tips for you when reporting hate pages/troll pages or being cyber bullied:

1.        Don’t Respond.  Ever. 

2.       Before you remove and ban, take a screenshot and paste into Paint and save as a JPG.  To Take a screenshot of my computers I either press the Window button and PrtScn button or the FN key with the PrtScn button.

3.       Report, Remove, Ban, Move on.

4.       Keep your profile private.  Yes, it can make you more difficult to find, but that’s a good thing when it comes to trolls.  You don’t want a troll latching on to a picture of you or a loved one.  Believe me.

5.       Parents – Monitor your kids’ facebook pages.  Limit the time they are on and check their history to make sure they aren’t creating Fake profiles (more common than you think).

6.       Children – Tell a parent.  If you are scared, tell someone, tell the school counselor, coach, teacher or some adult.  Don’t deal with it alone.

The amount of support we received from like-minded pages when we were under attack was nothing short of amazing and I am so blessed to be surrounded by amazing people who share this passion and by amazing communities. 

Thank you all,

C